Friday, September 10, 2010


I am the mother of 5.  Our oldest may not be with us physically, yet stands mighty in our house.  My other 4 are 19,16,14 and 13 respectively.  I have to admit that there have been times in my life and household that life has been much harder than it's current atmosphere.  Right now at this moment, our family is ..... how should I put it?  Under control.  That's the best word I have to describe the past week, for it changes moment to moment like a feather shifting in the wind.  No one taught me how to parent as far as I can remember, I didn't take a class or have a rehearsal.  We jumped in with both eyes open and learned as we went.  I suppose it's a little like everyone.  I try to be better than my own parents were with me (okay.. trying for a lot better).
I know now that as hard as it was to live with 5 babies and the demands it took, teenagers are a whole separate entity unto their own.  The best I can do is remember what is was like for me as a teenager, and there is where I get my answers. Why should I expect them to be and think any differently than me?  Obviously they come from me and are raised by the only beliefs I have.  They want to be so grown up and yet they still aren't ready for the lessons adulthood brings.  My oldest the 19 year old wants to be all grown up now that he is in school full time and working a job.  My 16 year old wants to be all grown up because he can drive and should be able to have complete independence.  My 14 year old wants to be all grown up, but knows she has to wait, and my baby of 13 is in puberty.  Oh how hard it is to be me, yet oh how hard it is to be them!  I remember.  Is the grass really greener on the other side?  I don't know.
My soon to be husband, who was my ex-husband and my husband before that and my boyfriend before that of 32 years is with me now, wondering the same questions.  All the children belong to us, from us and with us always.  They are the center of our life. We are the center of theirs, even though they may not know it right now.  That's okay, because when I was a teen my parents were the furthest thing from my mind.  Case in point,,,,,,our children are with us most of the time.  I have successfully succeeded my parents parenting.  I am also excepting the fact that they will all want different things for their futures.  I am willing to respect their choices and love them no matter what.  It's amazing how much they teach me as I try to teach them.  I think I may be learning more than they are at the moment.
Today was a good day.

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