Sunday, August 8, 2010
The new me, isn't the old me.
I've changed they said. So I did some research, joined some new groups and, I think they are right. I didn't want to change, but my life around me changed. I have to adapt to a new surrounding that is uncomfortable and uneasy. I live with and a sadness that is my forever reality in this world. It's been over 2 years now that my Nic went away, and the distance makes the pain deeper. It's as if I'm digging a hole deeper into the earth and further away from my baby. "They" don't know my reality. The parents who live like me "know" my reality and share in my pain. I didn't want to be like them, I refused. Yet here I am, with no choice. I don't have the same choices as they do. I'm angry and bewildered today, searching for someone that I can no longer see or touch.